Sleeping In

I consider myself a "morning person". I tend to get up and moving early, and I seem to think best in the mornings. I am no good in the evenings, and I retire early.

During my work years I learned to get up every day at the same time. I read somewhere that if you do that, then it is not a struggle to wake up on weekday mornings because you've slept in on the weekend. Every day the same. Lately I've broken with the tradition.

Yes, being retired has its advantages. I can choose when to get up unless I have an appointment or class. I do, however, like to get things out of the way. Thus I wake up early enough to get physical therapy out of the way so I can have the rest of the day to myself. And I wake early on Aqua days, even though the class starts at 10:30 am, because I like to have time to myself to get going first.

OF late, though, I have been sleeping in. I wake up and just want to lie there longer, fall asleep again. The pattern that has emerged is that I get up early to feed the cats, bring the wet food for one cat back to my room with me, shut the door on the others (they all want his food), and go back to bed. I then get in another hour's sleep, sometimes even more. Yesterday I didn't get out of bed until after nine. This, for me, is very late. Will it be ten next?

I think one reason I have gotten this way is that for many months after surgery my knee, my calf, some part of my leg would hurt in the morning. Nothing I did would ease it, so there was nothing for it but to get up and get moving. Now, however, I don't feel that pain. Lying in bed is so wonderful! I love it and I want to enjoy it.  So in a way this sleeping in is a good sign. On the other hand, another reason I like lying in is that getting to sleep at night is often very difficult. Sometimes it is my mind, racing around, not willing to stop. Other times it is my body, unable to get comfortable. I think if I can solve this problem I will also solve the other, and will again be greeting the day early and well.

No walk in the park

Oh the misconceptions. This knee was going to be easier than the last. I was going to power through the pain. Let's just admit up front that I am as much of a wimp as ever. I lost count of the different pain meds I have been on so far. Celebrex to start,along with oxycontin. A spinal anesthesia along with some sleepy stuff, a tranquilizer? Later two or three of something I do not remember,then an injection of Demerol. Which I got to repeat last night. Finished up with two percocets. My knee is hard to move. I am managing to wiggle toes both ways now and flex my foot, sort of. I have done the pulley exercises five or six times, last night. Need to rig that up again. The nurse was in here maybe a dozen times last night. Replacing iv bags, checking meds, and so on. It is a miracle i slept at all, even given all the drugs. One day at a time is my motto for now. I know that improvement will come, that I will celebrate small victories.

The Horrible, Terrible, Very Bad Night

Last night I went out to dinner with a group, came home and did not get the dynasplint on until about 8:30. I went to bed close to ten and tried to sleep. As usual I could not get to sleep for quite some time but finally dropped off.

When I woke at about midnight everything felt wrong. I took off the splint but that was not enough. My left arm ached and my right knee hurt. My stomach felt queasy. Was I getting sick?

The worst was that I could not stop crying. I bawled and bawled, big sobbing messes, uncontrollable, inconsolable. I went into the bathroom, took a shower, came out still crying. I splashed cool water on my face, still crying. I lay down in bed and felt my body again shake with sobs.

I finally fell asleep, fitfully, woke a few times, managed to stay reasonably calm. I woke, still feeling (and sounding) funny in my tummy but at least no more crying.

I hurt, yes, but it did not seem that the aching and knee pain were the main reasons for the crying. I don't know what was.

Go Figure

Today I met with the DynaSplint rep for a followup, just before I had a scheduled PT appointment. I wasn't feeling particularly well, had some stomach issues, but they seemed to be evened out enough by the time I had the appointment, fortunately.

We went over how I put the splint on, adjusting the straps, and she read all of my comments and noted the progress I had made. She said I was doing really well, just as she expected I would. She recommended that I stay at level 9 for three or four days, trying to up the hours, then gradually move up, increasing the tension only every few days or so rather than every day as I have been.  I had mistakenly thought that I had to pull the straps to the same place every day, even when one or two were biting into my flesh. It was good to hear that no, I just needed to get it on right and adjust as needed.

After the rep left I went straight into PT as usual. I felt, for some reason, unusually tired. It may be that I had lost some energy with the stomach issue, whatever it was. I suspect I ate something suspicious.  I did not say anything about how I felt, just plunged ahead, pushing my body a little farther than I really wanted to, frankly.

I see an old pattern emerging. When people in authority do not let me know how I am doing I tend to work extra hard and feel resentful at the same time. I have dropped comments from time to time about what I do outside of PT, hoping that I will get a chance to describe exactly what my gym routines are, for example, because I think it would be helpful for them to know, to be able to adjust what I do at the PT office.  Nobody has taken me up on these hints so I just keep plugging along. At this point I feel I am doing as much as I care to do, as much as is reasonable to expect of me, frankly.  Six days a week at the gym, over an hour every day. I think it's enough, especially added to the three days a week at the PT office, which counts as another workout.

So there I was, pushing the leg extension and leg curl machines beyond what I really wanted to do, to a kind of breaking point. I don't think I hurt anything but I wanted to show that I am up for it, that I do not try to get out of work. (Believe me, I am not talking about a hell of a lot of work; just enough to make my legs feel, at the time, that they cannot do more.)

After PT I went to the beach. I went to Avila, found a disabled parking space, walked down the stairs to the ocean, took off my shoes,  and walked in.  I stayed there a while, enjoying the waves pushing against my legs, and then came back in and walked to the grocery there to have a sandwich. Not a strenuous effort but simply an enjoyable one.

Yet when I got home I felt so exhausted. I did not do any more today than I do many many days. So I don't know what was going on with me. I dozed a bit while watching one television show and finally turned off the set at nine and headed for bed.

Yet, in spite of feeling so tired and in spite of taking sleeping pills (Advil pm) and pain pills (Percocet) I am still awake. I lay there minute after minute, hour after hour, making adjustments to the dynasplint, to how my leg was laying, trying to get to sleep, and not succeeding. I never get to sleep before midnight any more, and often even later than that. I am hoping that by coming here to write this up I might have added yet another layer of tired and will be able to nod off quietly and stay that way.

Another Pedi

Today I got another pedicure. Second one since I came out from the brace. I mention the first one in this post. Seems I had a harder time that day but I was also busier. I had no trouble bending my knee or holding my leg straight for various parts of the pedicure. Everything felt completely normal.

I also went to Costco to discuss phones and to the nearby Starbucks for a soy vanilla latte. Not as much walking as the last time I got a pedi, but I suspect I could have done that walking with better results today.

I realized that when I first got rid of the brace I was using the car for one or two things every two days or so. Now I get out there and make numerous stops and I do not feel any more tired. I am developing greater endurance.

Another improvement: I am taking two percocets in the evenings and usually nothing else, and it seems like I am doing better at night. I spend a lot of time awake still but only a small part of that time is really really uncomfortable. I haven't sat and sobbed for many days. I think things are looking up.

Eight and a Half Weeks

I'm feeling a little tired right now, a little headachey. I cut out all meds four nights in a row, to see if there was a difference. By the fourth night I realized that the meds probably were helping a little. I had so little sleep that I was up in the middle of the night watching television and still I could not sleep in later. And I had crying jags. So last night I did not forego meds. I took three tylenol pms. That actually did not help much either, to get me to sleep. It was hours of adjusting and stretching and taking showers and sitting on the side of the bed with my head in my hands. Finally, after I dropped off I was up a few more times to go to the bathroom, and once again I awoke with a spasm in my leg. I still feel vaguely hungover.

I am a bit at a loss here as to what to do. I really want to be off the drugs at night, and I figure time has got to help. I don't want magic meds. Well, yes, I'd like that, but more than that I want this to be over, no more need for meds.

At the therapist's office I talked to another knee patient a few days ago and he said that he too still has difficulty at night, has spasms and that he has more trouble sleeping now than he did right after surgery. I am not alone, and that actually is a kind of comfort.

So that's my primary complaint at this stage, at eight and a half weeks. The secondary complaint is that I find it painful to walk, or at least uncomfortable. Third, when I get out of my car I find it painful to stand up again.

The walking is a bit of a mystery to me. A few weeks ago I was walking somewhat stiffly but there wasn't much pain. It may be that I am not allowing my muscles enough rest. It does not seem to me that I am overworking anything but I am working the same muscles in the gym T Th S that I work in the therapy sessions M W F - so I am working them six days in a row. That may not be the wisest course. It may be smarter for me to do my gym routines on the same days as I do therapy.  I hope to get this straight when I start working with Clara, the trainer at the gym. Another component of the walking problem is, of course, my right leg. There are times that it feels incredibly weak, like it's going to cave in, and it hurts to put my weight on it. I do use my cane at these times, to take some of the load off it, but that is not any kind of long-term solution. Today at the gym I found it really hard on that knee to climb the stairs to the second floor, so I took the elevator down when I was done with my workout.

As to what I am doing at the gym. Very similar to what I was doing before surgery, but I have cut some things out and added one machine, and modified some settings:

Bike: I now set the seat at 8, whereas before it was at 9. This is a triumph of sorts. I can bend my knees better now. I bike at level 9 (before I went to 10) for twenty minutes (before I did fifteen) and I work up to my training heart rate and stay there every time (I did not get there before). So when I get off the bike I am sweating.

Leg Press: The goal here now is simply to strengthen my thighs. Previously a big part of the goal was to straighten my legs. I do two sets of ten (same as before) at 120 pounds (previously 140).

Leg Extension: The difference on this one is that I don't go all the way up to a straight-leg position, based on what Paul said he'd learned about using the machines for this purpose. I go about 80% of the way and then back again. I think I'm at just 30 pounds - I don't remember! Two sets of ten.

Seated Leg Curl: I had not been doing this before so I had to figure out how to set the machine. I'm not at all sure I am doing it entirely correctly. I do one set of fifteen at ...what?? I think 65 pounds.

Hip Abductor: I am using this a little differently. When I do "clamshells" on my bed at home I am supposed to lift my leg and hold it for ten seconds. So now when I push open the machine I hold it for a few seconds at the outer limit, then return it to the start. Two sets of fifteen, I think 65 pounds.

Lat pulldowns or row or both: same as before, two sets of ten, 95 pounds.

Sometimes I stand at the railing and do some leg pushbacks (I do not know the correct term) but mostly I do not.

So that's the T Th S routine. I hope it changes after I meet with Clara. Change is good.

Overall I know my progress is good. I am doing well enough to expect a good recovery at the end of this road. I need to be more patient than I am. I look forward to rereading this post some weeks hence and thinking, wow, things have changed...

Contemplating the Night

A week or so ago it occurred to me that if I were more active I might sleep better. That has usually been the case. Last Wednesday I returned to the gym, taking an Aqua class, and I have gone there every day since, except Sunday. I either do Aqua or I do a set of exercises upstairs, using the equipment. In addition, I am going to physical therapy three days a week, and these sessions tend to last about an hour and ten minutes, a workout in themselves in a different way.

By night, my leg feels stiff and I am not walking smoothly. I have to talk myself into standing tall, placing one foot down and then the other, putting my weight on the inside of my feet, pulling my stomach in. I don't always do all of this because I feel achey.

So off to the shower I go. It feels nice while it lasts, and I am for sure racking up the therms on the gas meter. But the calm does not last, not in my leg anyway.

And so I lay in bed, my leg occasionally seizing up or going into a spasm or just plain aching. The theory isn't working; more activity is not helping.

I have also started taking melatonin, two three-mg tablets at night. It hasn't hurt anything that I can tell and it might be helping. I am not taking tylenol pm but I seem to get about the same amount of sleep, fitful and interrupted though it is.  I also take Vicodin, but that supply has now run out, so I'll go back to Percocet. Hard to tell any difference between the two.

I'll admit it: I'm writing this as another means to divert my attention from sleep and my wanting it.

And at Night

I occupy myself as long as I can manage, which often isn't long, before I head for the bathroom to take some acetaminophen p.m.. I have tried different combinations of drugs at different times. Mostly, now, I take the sleep pills at eight or eight-thirty at night, and wait, if I can, for at least an hour before I head for bed. Sometimes I take Vicodin at the same time. Sometimes I wait. Always I am wanting to not take any pain pills at all, and so far always I have failed. I always take some, lately two earlier, two later, total four.

I try to find a comfortable position in bed, and sometimes I can do so right away. I read but am not sleepy. Finally, after reading a while and adjusting my position several times, I do start feeling a little sleepy. I put the book on the table and switch off the light.

The demons in my leg will often surface at this time. It's something like "restless legs", a discomfort that I cannot ignore. I try different positions again, slow down my breathing, try to let go of thoughts. It doesn't work. I switch on the light and sit up, turning my body to the edge of the bed, letting my legs fall over the side, hang there a while. I may just sit there a while or I may pick up a book again, read some. Then I may try to find a good position to sleep again, may turn off the light again, but more likely I will pull my leg up onto the bed and stretch it, pushing the knee into the soft blankets and sheet beneath it.

I look at the clock. It might be ten now, it might even be eleven or a little later. I may take more Vicodin, two more tablets. Deep breathing. A shower. Most nights I eventually get up and take a hot shower, letting the hot water cascade over my knee, over my shoulders, onto my back, then over my front, back to the leg. Sometimes I will sit and let it pour down over me, a waterfall of heat.  When I leave the shower I quickly dry off and put my nightgown back on. It is usually not too cold and I do feel some relief from the discomfort.

I sit on the edge of the bed again. I pick up a book and read some. I try getting under the covers again, place a pillow there between my legs or under the left leg. I turn to the opposite side, adjust the pillow again. I pull out the pillow and put one leg, bent, ahead of the other, both on the sheet. Then the other side, same thing. I take deep breaths, sit up again on the side of the bed, read more. Lie down, read on my side, read on my back, read on the other side.

Sometimes I am able to doze for a little while. Next thing I know it is one o'clock. Then one-fifteen. If I did not take some before I may now take more Vicodin because my legs are calling to me again, my left leg, not the right. Some time around two or later I will fall, unaware, into sleep, and not wake again until it is almost five in the morning.

The cats are bothering me. Knowing that one of them in particular will not let up, I finally get up and stumble down the hall, trying to hold myself upright, pull in my stomach, walk on the inside of my feet: in other words, trying to maintain alignment and proper posture. Rarely do I achieve it at this early time. I  dig into the cat food container with the cup measure, filling it, and then pour a third of a cup into each of three cat food dishes, each in its own special location. I return the cup to the cat food bin, close it, return to bed, turning out the lights on the way and shutting my bedroom door to prevent any further cat interruptions.

Again, more arranging under the covers. Sometimes I am able to get back to sleep after a while. Other times I lie there restlessly until the hour is more decent, and then I pull myself up, slide my feet over the edge, sit there a while, finally get up.  I pull the covers up, roughly making the bed. Go to my closet to grab some clothes, lay them on the bed.  I might take another shower or I might just get dressed. Before dressing, though, I sit on the end of the bed and massage the knee scar, then work the patella back and forth, and up and down, trying to loosen it. I may do some of my regular exercises then, or not. Once I am dressed I open the bedroom door and head for the office to check email.

It should not be surprising that I will sometimes feel an overwhelming sleepiness once, twice, even three times during the day. I know that if I ignore it and try not to nap I may have a better chance at night. But I rarely can ignore it, and I often will take short naps, on the couch or on my bed, trying to get warm, and again trying to get comfortable. It seems like I can get comfortable more easily at these times than I could earlier.  Yet in the in-between times I feel awake, not deprived of sleep. I manage to take my little walk, go to the gym, do various errands. Some days I go for physical therapy in the afternoon. I hope to wear myself out enough to fall dead asleep right away and stay there. So far it has not happened.

Goodby Brace

I planned to make a ceremony of it. When it was time to get up this morning, I'd sit up, carefully take off the brace for the last time, and dump it in the wastebasket. All right, that isn't much of a ceremony but I was envisioning it and seeing myself head for the shower, where I could stand under the water for the first time in five weeks.  It didn't work exactly like that.

Last night I had difficulty getting comfortable enough to get to sleep. I have had this problem from the start, and have gotten to sleep with varying degrees of difficulty. It seems like the past few days were the worst, perhaps in part because I anticipated today and my body had less patience than ever. I admit I resorted to drugs. During these five weeks I have not yet made it through a night without them. Yet they did not do the full job, and I kept waking up, jerking up to sit on the side of the bed, sometimes to get up and walk a little, and always to stretch as much as I could. I thought stretching would reduce the "restless leg" kind of jerky spasms I was having. I took another hot shower in the middle of the night, and that helped relax me for a little while.  But I kept waking. Finally, when the clock said four a.m., I sat up and took the damned brace off. Threw it down on the floor. Pulled my leg back under the covers.

It helped! The spasms were diminished, I was more comfortable, my leg felt less like a lumbering whale attached to my body and more like a living part of me. I managed to grab a few more winks this way, adjusting as needed. Definitely an improvement. I think, too, that letting my leg relax under the covers for a bit was not a bad way to adjust to the coming bigger change: standing on it without any support.

The time finally came to get up. I sat on the side of the bed, a wee bit worried, and went for it. I grabbed the cane and stood up. To my surprise, it felt shaky but stable. When I walk I can feel the muscles and ligaments adjusting to being given the whole load, causing a shimmering kind of shakiness. It's okay. I think a few days of walking on it will reduce the shaking and give me back my leg. I also think it will be easier to get more from my exercises, even though it will feel a little scarier at times. 

I took my standing shower and dressed in long pants. I will still wear shorts or short pants most of the time while I am working on the knee, for access, but from time to time it will be nice to have this option. The end of this tunnel looks just a wee bit closer now.

Ears and Thighs

I woke yesterday with a cold. I made it to the gym for my regular routine, then off to sewing class, and finally got home to pack for a trip to Las Vegas. I left home at almost 5:30 yesterday afternoon, planning to stop halfway and continue the trip today. I felt so sick I found it hard to pack and get moving.

I did make it to Mojave as planned, and into my favorite Motel 6. The trains here are very loud but it seemed like I only started hearing them this morning, so they did not interrupt my sleep. My sickness and more interrupted my sleep, though.

At one point I blew my nose and felt a sharp pain in my right ear. I hope I have not done anything seriously wrong to that ear. I don't think so. I woke several times feeling hung over, but without having had the benefit of the alcohol.

Then in the middle of the night I awoke with cramps in my inner thighs. You'd think that with the exercises I do specifically for this part of my body that I would avoid these cramps, but no. I managed to ease out of them by breathing deeply and stretching and drinking water. I don't know how the water helps but it seems to. I am hoping that the rest of the drive will not lead to another set of cramps tonight. Also hoping that I won't get sleepy from the decongestant I hope to be taking soon. I need to stay awake at least until I reach Las Vegas!

A Day Off

So I took yesterday off from exercise. I went to sewing class and made it through that without difficulty. I had pain in my right leg - hip, knee, calf - but not too awful. When I left the class and drove home I felt some of that same pain in my calf and knee when I used the accelerator that I had felt the day before, driving home from Palm Springs. Overall, not too awful a day.

I slept well and woke without as much pain as yesterday morning. I am going to Aqua this morning, still in pain, remembering I must do this even when I am not feeling all that well. If I avoided exercise every time something acted up I'd soon quit altogether.

It is another day

Last night I slept well. I have slept well for the past few days, with just occasional wake-ups  for water or bathroom and for one time when my right foot was a little crampy. Sleeping well means, of course, that when I get up it is a while before I can stand up straight because I haven't been up for several hours.

That was certainly true this morning. Bent over, trying to regain good posture, put my weight in my heels, suck my tummy in, I got the cats fed, did my usual early morning chores, and got a bit ready for my next trip, which is tomorrow, checked email, did some small stuff. By ten I was ready to head out to Aqua class, not really looking forward to it but knowing it would be good.

My right hip was bothering me and getting up and down was painful and getting into the gym was painful. By the time I left the gym I was loosened up a bit and finding it easier to walk and to concentrate on my posture and on not limping.  My theory is that as I continue to work the muscles and build strength, over time the extra strength will be there when I need it and I will find it easier to walk all the time.

I was feeling pretty perky so I took myself out to lunch and got myself an all-fruit smoothie afterwards, from Jamba Juice. By the time I got home I was feeling a little taxed and I lay down to take a nap. An hour or so later I got up, folded clean clothes, fed cats again, and realized I am doing better. My hip still hurts but I am managing it better.

Tomorrow I will head out of town and bring my resistance bands. I would like to get a stick to bring along, too, so I may head out to find something, a broom handle or something like that, in a bit. This trip will be a test of how well I do away from the gym. There is a pool where I am going, so I can do some water exercises in addition to the elastic band ones. I can't wait - well, I have to but I don't want to - until I can walk well enough to take hikes again!

Sludge

Well, last night I went to bed early and got hardly any sleep. For whatever reason I just didn't get sleepy enough. Taking a nap in the middle of the afternoon yesterday probably didn't help.

On the plus side, no cramps from the Tour class yesterday. Of course I could get them tonight. Sometimes it works that way. But today is my second meeting with Clara and then an Aqua class after that, so if I do get cramps it may not be possible to determine from what.

Another Night and Another Morning

Last night I conked out easily and stayed asleep until about five a.m. What a lovely feeling. No uncomfortable leg things, no waking all night long. And I took no drugs.

This morning I made my way to the gym after nine, feeling somewhat lazy, and did my usual little workout with the machines and so on, then took a shower and dressed for the day. I had a cup of tea at the gym cafe before leaving. Because I was up and about I decided to do errands around town. I went to Costco to pick up some things and found that the more I walked around the store the more in pain I was. I could hardly wait to get to the car. The pain was mostly in my right leg, my calf and thigh, but also somewhat in my left knee.

I talked myself into going to Petco to pick up cat food, managed that okay but still in pain, and finally stopped at CVS to get paper towels (I get them there because they have 100% recycled paper towels as well as 100% recycled TP in 1000-sheet rolls). Then to home, where I managed to get everything inside before I heated up some soup and some Boca burgers for my lunch.

What I want more than anything else is to be able to walk around without pain. That's it.

Sleeplessness

I can't get any meaningful amount of sleep tonight. My legs won't relax sufficiently, my arm hurts at times, I keep trying to get comfortable. When I went to bed at a bit after ten I immediately noticed that my legs were being troublesome so I took some acetaminophen pm tablets (two) and hoped that would get me through it. But they did not work. I have gotten up numerous times, read first one book, then another, took a shower, basking in the heat, tried to sleep again, and nothing.

Even before I tried to sleep I experienced some cramps. My right inner thigh went into cramping shortly after I went to bed. I worked that out, then about an hour later my left leg started to feel crampy but it did not get too far with it, then another bout with the right leg.

I only hope this does not impair me significantly later today, when I get up for real and head for an Aqua class again.

Pity Party

Yesterday morning I joined friend Maryann in the pool for an Aqua class. It went well, with the instructor I like better, Kerry, and I realized I'd do better in the future if I stay in the deep end. Little by little we learn these adjustments to take the stress off our joints.

We decided after that we'd try the "Active" class this afternoon, at 4:30. I was a little reluctant to try it on the same day because it just might be too much but also reluctant because I figured it would be a problem for my arthritis. I had no idea what it would be but I knew it was a floor class and the information didn't say anything about chairs, for example. Still, it is listed as a class good for people just getting started so I thought maybe it would be okay.

I arrived at the class to find friend Peggy there and Maryann chatting it up with somebody else, sitting on a balance ball. Peggy has a way of taking over things and she took me in hand, and I got my equipment out: steps and weights and a mat. I was a little concerned that it was a step-type class but I didn't know, again, what to expect. Peggy said the steps are not complicated and you don't have to use the step, of course (which I knew I would not do). When the instructor came in I went to talk to her. I said I had arthritis in my knees, hip, and shoulder and she said just take it easy, don't go on the step, use lower weights.

Turns out that wasn't enough. My legs and knees were in pain just about immediately and stayed there through the cardio section. I felt pain in my knees, tightness and discomfort in my calves, pain in my right hip. As the section progressed I felt less and less able to do the simple steps. Then came the weights. We had to lie down on the steps to do the weight work. Nothing I haven't done before. The weight work was not difficult except that my left arm could not do much of it. I ended up using my right arm most of the time. Then, getting up again was difficult; Peggy offered me her hand but she has no idea how much of my weight she would have had to take; I simply worked my way up, somewhat painfully, from my knees (not good) to standing. Finished the weights there, again only my right arm.

Balance work was tricky with my pronated knees. Of course I knew this situation and I did what I could. Balance work is good for me. Finally, there was floor work. I ended it there. I wasn't going down on the floor to do abdominals. I can do abs other ways that don't require that I rise painfully to my feet afterwards.

So when the rest of the class was doing abs I methodically took my equipment back to the storage room and put it away, then left the class. I went downstairs to the showers and found myself crying in there, tears joining the hot water that felt so good.

I felt a mixture of pity for myself along with a kind of anger at others. I recognize that it isn't fair of me to assume or hope that one of these type instructors would understand my limitations. Other people have arthritis but it isn't always painful in the same way. Believe me, I knew when I looked at the step and heard of the 20 minutes of cardio that this would not be a good thing for me. Yet I indulged in my feelings of sadness and self-pity and anger at the misunderstanding world. I hate it when people assume I am having trouble because I am new at something or out of shape when it has nothing to do with that.

I felt this minor depression last night, as my body accused me of overdoing. My back hurt, my legs hurt, everything arthritis hurt, and I wondered how I'd sleep. With drugs is the answer. Acetaminophen pm. Then this morning, as I rose creakily from bed I decided to help my chances and took two acetaminophen tablets before heading out to do my usual little workout and then went to my sewing class.

Right now I feel recovered, as much as I usually can be. My right hip is not bothering me and I am getting up without a lot of pain. I think doing the simple workout this morning was a good thing because it loosened the joints a bit and gave my body some little bit of work to do that, as the Arthritis Foundation says, is "the best medicine".

As I sit back, a day away from the worst of it, I think my venture into the Active class does have a purpose: it sets a baseline of sorts. I can look back later, probably much much later, when I try the class again, when I feel more stable and comfortable on my feet.

photos are generic, do not represent the actual classes I took but look similar

traveling back

I did go to the multigen one more time before leaving Las Vegas. It may have helped, couldn't have hurt.

The morning I left I also took two acetaminophen tablets to dull the pain during the trip. I don't know if they were responsible but I did have an easier time on the way back than I did on the way there. I didn't fear getting out of the car at rest stops quite so much. I didn't have to sit there contemplating the best way to rise to my feet. I just got up and dealt with the stiffness and discomfort because it wasn't as bad as before.

Yesterday, my off day, was also sewing day. I did not do any exercise. I felt quite tired and when I got home I was glad to lounge around and rest and read.

This morning I made it back to the gym. I didn't feel like going, which is really a first, but I was okay once I got there. Level four on the bike (although it said resistance was "eight"), ten minutes; rowing at 65 pounds, lat pulldowns - did I go up to 65 lbs? I think I stayed at 50 but I am not sure; bench press 140 pounds for the first time. The arm and calf stretches I kept at 30 seconds each. I found it easier to stretch my left arm, straight. Maybe I wasn't doing it right.

I limped in, my right hip in pain, and limped out somewhat less in pain. I took no drugs for the last two nights, and none during the day either. Slept well.