mariwhat?

For the fourth or fifth day in a row I am having pain in my right thigh and hip. I suspect I have arthritis in my hips as well as my knees. This made me think that if I had surgery on my left knee I may still be in pain. Probably would be. Not a cheery thought.

I was listening to XMPR as I drove home from the market this morning, thinking about my hip, and this weekend is a marathon of Bob Edwards interviews. The one playing at that time was about the border. He noted that the value of marijuana confiscated from Mexican migrants every year is in the millions of dollars. I thought about that marijuana and where it has gone. Did they burn it? If so, did they stick around to breathe it in? It occurred to me that I have one of the conditions that is listed in the medical marijuana law here in California. I could register with the health department - I think that's how it works - and if I then have marijuana around for my arthritis it would be legal. And right now that sounds like a great idea.

Of course there is the matter of the potency. The last hit I had of marijuana was maybe eight years ago and it was far more powerful than anything I had in my youth. I would not want to be *that* stoned. I would just want the pain reduced. So perhaps I could find out about cannabis extracts that can be purchased - with a prescription, I presume.

Week 16!

I fear if I stop writing the week number I will forget which week it is. So there it is. Middle of the 16th week.

hanging in

I have been on three trips within the past couple of weeks, all by car. I seem to be suffering some aftereffects of the driving and being driven. The morning after I returned from the third trip my lower back was in a lot of pain. It was a walking day so I struggled to walk, thinking the pain would ease as I went on. But it didn't. The next day and the next I have had pain in my right thigh, reaching somewhat into my hip area. But the back pain is gone.

I didn't have any knee pain, or not much in comparison. However, the night after I rode in the back of a van, with my knees forced into a bent position that they do not normally like, I had muscle cramps in both legs.

Added to these whiney notes is the fact that after all these weeks I have run into some walls here and there. In the fourteenth week I almost talked myself out of doing the exercises. Today I have in fact talked myself out of walking. I could have tried swimming instead but I didn't. Sometimes the pain just makes me want to rest a bit.

Honestly, I am not a hard-working person! I just make it sound that way at times.

Sometimes an extra challenge is a good thing

Yesterday I miscalculated bus times and ended up having to walk home from downtown, which is a distance of about 2.4 miles as I recall, all on hard surfaces. This isn't a long distance but in my present state it is certainly a challenge. I could have called a cab or a friend but I decided to take on the challenge instead.

I started out relatively pain- and limp-free, which in itself was a good sign. By the time I reached home I was limping and stiff, and that stiffness remained for the rest of the evening. I had no cramps during the night or any weird twists in my knee. This morning I awoke very stiff and in some pain. It is already starting to ease, though, and I know that the walk did not harm me. It pushed me farther than I was ready to go on a regular basis but I believe such pushes, from time to time, give me some extra courage and belief in myself. I don't relish the kind of pain that I endure when I do things like this so I am not likely to go out there the next day and do it again. But I suspect that my next smaller walk will seem easier.

Distraction

As I understand it, there are two primary camps in "prepared childbirth". By far the most-used has to be the LaMaze method, which emphasizes distraction from discomfort. Through breathing and focal points, the woman diverts her attention from labor discomfort. Even the term - "discomfort" instead of "pain" - is a diversion, a distraction. The Bradley method emphasizes essentially being one with the pain, going into it.

These two methods seem like opposites but I suspect they accomplish the same thing physically. They cause us to slow down our responses, to relax.

I use distraction when I hike. I bring a camera with me and stop to take pictures. My focus is on what I see through the viewfinder and away from my knees. While I hike I am always looking around for possible photo opps, which is also distracting.

When I do other types of walks, like the one to Marigold, I try to distract myself by reading a book. This isn't all that successful. Reading isn't all that conducive to walking, or I should say walking isn't all that conducive to reading. I have to keep an eye out for things I might stumble over and cars that might run me over.

What I have found to be remarkably effective is listening to podcasts on my ipod shuffle. The Shuffle is so small and light I can clip it to whatever I am wearing. There is no fiddling with numerous controls, either, as there are very few of them. I download free podcasts from iTunes, along with the occasional paid tune or paid book.

Some of my favorites are "The Ethicist" and "LSAT Logic in Everyday Life". These titles certainly reveal where some of my interests lie. These podcasts are short analyses of everyday situations or issues that arise in the news, from ethical and logical standpoints. As I am naturally logical, really logical, mathematically and philosophically logical, and because I have a strong ethical component, these podcasts are enlightening and entertaining to me. I think, too, that because they are spoken words they tend to be more distracting than music would be. I am paying attention on what comes next, what the argument is, how the reasoning goes. I believe that takes more focus than music usually does.

Today I walked up to Staples and back, certainly more than a 30-minute walk, and on concrete, and I did not rely on many stops for rests. I was able to plunge forward with the aid of the shuffle and it even seems like my knees feel less pain as a result.

As I end week 13

Today I walked to the Marigold shopping center again. The walk there was relatively pain-free. I was hopeful. I spent an hour there, most of it sitting in one place or another, so I hoped I would be refreshed for the walk back. But I wasn't. It was painful the entire way. I stopped whenever I found a rock or branch or anything I could find to sit or lean on.

I am certain that my heavy weight is a huge contributor to the pain and possibly to the inflammation as well. I have got to focus on losing some of that excess. Every ten pounds means a relief of forty pounds on each step.

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